The Other Lab: Nano Football
A German scientist has created the world’s smallest football pitch… But, he says, he does not know what to do with it. “I can’t put it on show as no one can see it”.
From: The Independent, 5th July 2006.
Ah, come in Dr Schmidt, take a seat.
Thank you Professor.
Now, I understand from one of your colleagues that you have something rather exciting to report but are a little reluctant to do so? Is that right?
Yes, I suppose so.
[pause]
Good. Would you like to tell me what it is?
Mmm, I’m not sure.
I am the Director of the Lab after all.
OK, but only if you promise not to tell a soul.
Well…
Promise!
OK, I promise.
[whispers] I have created the world’s smallest football pitch.
The world’s smallest football pitch?
Ja.
Really? And how small is it, exactly?
Very small.
Very very small?
Yes, about 500 nanometers by 380 nanometers.
That is small.
So small that you could fit twenty thousand of them on the tip of a human hair.
Really? Now why would you want to do that?
I’m not saying you would, Professor, but you could.
I see. And what exactly are you planning to do with this football pitch?
I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. The trouble is that no one can see it.
It being very very small.
Exactly!
No use, for example, for playing the world’s smallest football match on?
Certainly not. That would be absurd.
Of course, silly me. Well, what can I say Dr Schmidt? Congratulations! Obviously this is a major breakthrough. You should be very proud. I can’t think why you would want to keep such a thing under your hat.
Don’t forget that you promised not to tell a soul.
Indeed I did Dr Schmidt, and you have my word that I have no intention of breaking my promise. No intention whatsoever.
To find out more about Richard and read more of his articles click here
From: The Independent, 5th July 2006.
Ah, come in Dr Schmidt, take a seat.
Thank you Professor.
Now, I understand from one of your colleagues that you have something rather exciting to report but are a little reluctant to do so? Is that right?
Yes, I suppose so.
[pause]
Good. Would you like to tell me what it is?
Mmm, I’m not sure.
I am the Director of the Lab after all.
OK, but only if you promise not to tell a soul.
Well…
Promise!
OK, I promise.
[whispers] I have created the world’s smallest football pitch.
The world’s smallest football pitch?
Ja.
Really? And how small is it, exactly?
Very small.
Very very small?
Yes, about 500 nanometers by 380 nanometers.
That is small.
So small that you could fit twenty thousand of them on the tip of a human hair.
Really? Now why would you want to do that?
I’m not saying you would, Professor, but you could.
I see. And what exactly are you planning to do with this football pitch?
I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet. The trouble is that no one can see it.
It being very very small.
Exactly!
No use, for example, for playing the world’s smallest football match on?
Certainly not. That would be absurd.
Of course, silly me. Well, what can I say Dr Schmidt? Congratulations! Obviously this is a major breakthrough. You should be very proud. I can’t think why you would want to keep such a thing under your hat.
Don’t forget that you promised not to tell a soul.
Indeed I did Dr Schmidt, and you have my word that I have no intention of breaking my promise. No intention whatsoever.
To find out more about Richard and read more of his articles click here
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