Why Irish Men Get Bitten
By Neal Anthwal
I don’t know what to do with the news that more men present themselves at A&E with serious human bite injuries than women, as is being reported in the Emergency Medicine Journal. I suppose I’m trying to say I don’t know what it’s trying to tell us, and why it is telling us whatever the thing it’s telling us is.
The study as carried out over a two-year period at St James Hospital in Dublin, and took in 92 patients with a total of 96 bites between them, or 1.0434783 bites per person.
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We men are getting bitten much more than women, why is this? Is it because we are more likely to get in to fights, fights that involve dirty tactics such as biting? Considering that the vast majority of these cases had alcohol associated with them, this is not out of the realms of possibility.
Or are we learning something about the nature of Dubliners? Are the male residents of that fair city fighting biters? Probably not any more than men in any other northern European city I suspect.
Startling facts emerge, however, when you look at where on their bodies men are getting chewed.
Seven out of ten bites were to the face, a statistic that chills me slightly when considering that this is where domestic pets tend to start eating their dead owner.
However, these victims are not dead and their assailants are people not dogs. This can only make me conclude that Dublin is under attack by zombie hordes.
So now the question is why are the Irish zombies more inclined to feast on men? Are men tastier than women? After all, those of us who are not members of the legions of undead tend to eat beefy bulls over the milk producing cows.
Are the zombies mindful of their waistlines and so are selecting men for their smaller proportion of body fat? Or is it simply that they are preying on people stumbling out of pubs, most of which are men?
Maybe the zombie population of Dublin is mostly female, and so by attacking and turning men in to zombies the population will become more gender balanced. I think we need answers.
Visit Neal's page for more heroic science or follow the links below.
- Interesting - The world's biggest biters
- Grim - Kuru: the brain-eater's disease
- Cool - Farewell to false teeth
Image: Israel Jiménez
Sounds like - as with spiders - that the female is deadlier than the male - and deadlier to the male.Your Say
BonnyJars
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