R&S: Love is... Chemistry
S - According to Cliff Arnall (a health psychologist at Cardiff University), we’ve already had the most
depressing day of the year. He came up with a formula based on the poorest weather, debts owed for seasonal spending, the time since Christmas, the period of time before you abandon New Year’s resolutions, the dates when motivation levels seems to be at their lowest and the timing for the need for action to escape the blues. All that told him 23rd January 2006 was the worst day of the year. I disagree, 23rd January seemed ok to me, I reckon 14th February 2006 will be much more depressing. Too many smug women receiving roses and heart-shaped chocolates.
R - I think men only give you chocolates because they know that they can contain artificial phenylthylamine (PEA), which is a possible hormone of libido - men always think with their…. stomachs?
S - Ooh, so cynical, but so true. I’ve started to think that we have less control over who we fall in love with than I’d thought. Do you believe in love or do you think it really is all in the chemistry?
R - You have to believe in love, love has to exist. Chemicals however are certainly involved, if you think of that “love at first sight” statement, it should really be “lust at first sight” as that is the first stage of feelings in a relationship. Lust is related to bursts of testosterone and oestrogen in our bodies when we first see someone we’re attracted to.
S - I suppose. After lust comes true attraction. I just can’t help being a cynic. Apparently abnormalities in serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline make that state of attraction biochemically similar to obsessive compulsive disorder. Lovers in this stage typically spend 85% of their waking moments fantasising about their loved one. How does anyone ever get anything done?
R - Is that where the saying “crazy for you” came from? We’re mad enough as it is, so maybe we don’t need love.
S - You’re forgetting the fact that people go out every weekend and get drunk which stimulates dopamine levels in our bodies anyway, causing our hearts to race, our pupils to dilate and pheromones to be released (when we get sweaty in that nightclub). That happy feeling you get on a Saturday night is chemically very similar to the feelings associated with lust.
R - But if you are in a relationship, after a while you must know you’re in love and not just lust. So what chemicals are involved in that?
S - Between the 18-24 month stage of a relationship, the attraction wears off. This is the make or break point for relationships. If you’re on track, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released. They are stimulated by touch, so even when you’ve been together a long time, you should never stop holding hands.
R - Aahh! Aside from chemical attraction there is the physical attraction to consider. Have you heard that men tend to find women with symmetrical faces more attractive? That makes you more appealing than me!
L-R: Normal, left-side symmetry, right-side symmetry
S - If you say so! I have heard asymmetrical faces are a sign of underlying genetic problems. So, it makes sense for us to be attracted to healthy people. What about body shape? Do you reckon you have to be skinny for men to fall in love with you?
R - Definitely not, apparently there is a magic hip to waist ratio of 0.7 though! It’s no coincidence that data of Miss America winners show they always seem to obey this ratio.
S - Blimey - where’s the tape measure. I need to know how long I need to spend in the gym!
R - I thought the gym was one of your New Year’s resolutions?! I’m afraid it only takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone. And, although looks do play a part in attraction, during those critical minutes you are being judged on more than you would think - 55% through body language, 38% is tone and sound of voice, 7% what you say.
S - So if it only takes a maximum of 4 minutes, is there any point in playing hard to get?
R - In a word, no. The theory is we fancy people who are hard to get for everyone else but easy for us to get!
S - I read that experiments have shown if people experience fear on a date they often misinterpret that feeling as love. If all else fails, maybe we should use that to our advantage?
R - Why don’t you take your next date bungee jumping! That way he’s bound to fall for you…one way or the other!
depressing day of the year. He came up with a formula based on the poorest weather, debts owed for seasonal spending, the time since Christmas, the period of time before you abandon New Year’s resolutions, the dates when motivation levels seems to be at their lowest and the timing for the need for action to escape the blues. All that told him 23rd January 2006 was the worst day of the year. I disagree, 23rd January seemed ok to me, I reckon 14th February 2006 will be much more depressing. Too many smug women receiving roses and heart-shaped chocolates.
R - I think men only give you chocolates because they know that they can contain artificial phenylthylamine (PEA), which is a possible hormone of libido - men always think with their…. stomachs?
S - Ooh, so cynical, but so true. I’ve started to think that we have less control over who we fall in love with than I’d thought. Do you believe in love or do you think it really is all in the chemistry?
R - You have to believe in love, love has to exist. Chemicals however are certainly involved, if you think of that “love at first sight” statement, it should really be “lust at first sight” as that is the first stage of feelings in a relationship. Lust is related to bursts of testosterone and oestrogen in our bodies when we first see someone we’re attracted to.
S - I suppose. After lust comes true attraction. I just can’t help being a cynic. Apparently abnormalities in serotonin, dopamine and adrenaline make that state of attraction biochemically similar to obsessive compulsive disorder. Lovers in this stage typically spend 85% of their waking moments fantasising about their loved one. How does anyone ever get anything done?
R - Is that where the saying “crazy for you” came from? We’re mad enough as it is, so maybe we don’t need love.
S - You’re forgetting the fact that people go out every weekend and get drunk which stimulates dopamine levels in our bodies anyway, causing our hearts to race, our pupils to dilate and pheromones to be released (when we get sweaty in that nightclub). That happy feeling you get on a Saturday night is chemically very similar to the feelings associated with lust.
R - But if you are in a relationship, after a while you must know you’re in love and not just lust. So what chemicals are involved in that?
S - Between the 18-24 month stage of a relationship, the attraction wears off. This is the make or break point for relationships. If you’re on track, the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are released. They are stimulated by touch, so even when you’ve been together a long time, you should never stop holding hands.
R - Aahh! Aside from chemical attraction there is the physical attraction to consider. Have you heard that men tend to find women with symmetrical faces more attractive? That makes you more appealing than me!
L-R: Normal, left-side symmetry, right-side symmetry
S - If you say so! I have heard asymmetrical faces are a sign of underlying genetic problems. So, it makes sense for us to be attracted to healthy people. What about body shape? Do you reckon you have to be skinny for men to fall in love with you?
R - Definitely not, apparently there is a magic hip to waist ratio of 0.7 though! It’s no coincidence that data of Miss America winners show they always seem to obey this ratio.
S - Blimey - where’s the tape measure. I need to know how long I need to spend in the gym!
R - I thought the gym was one of your New Year’s resolutions?! I’m afraid it only takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if we fancy someone. And, although looks do play a part in attraction, during those critical minutes you are being judged on more than you would think - 55% through body language, 38% is tone and sound of voice, 7% what you say.
S - So if it only takes a maximum of 4 minutes, is there any point in playing hard to get?
R - In a word, no. The theory is we fancy people who are hard to get for everyone else but easy for us to get!
S - I read that experiments have shown if people experience fear on a date they often misinterpret that feeling as love. If all else fails, maybe we should use that to our advantage?
R - Why don’t you take your next date bungee jumping! That way he’s bound to fall for you…one way or the other!
