Addicted to mobile phones

Every week, the Null dissects the most self-evident studies and pointless papers not to hit the headlines. It's harsh, but funny. This week, we investigate the hidden dangers of spending too much time on the phone.

It’s rare these days to find someone that doesn’t own a mobile phone and according to a Northampton University professor, a large percentage of the population are becoming addicted to wireless chit chat.

We humans are apparently creatures of habit and are capable of getting addicted to just about anything. Techno addiction is now so out of control, some people are even reporting anxiety attacks if they can’t check their phone. The worst affected individuals will get up two to three times a night to check if they have got any messages. Surely that’s not addiction, that’s insomnia.

But what was the first clue that led to this remarkable breakthrough in sociological

dysfunction? Maybe it was the incessant ring tones on the train on the way into work; or the pavements full of zombies staring at their palm as they wander the streets; or maybe it was the morons texting to say they’ll be home in five minutes whilst negotiating a roundabout.

Current research is now being planned to see if this addiction is more widespread than just Northampton. Hang on – you mean it could be a global problem? With no vaccine on the horizon, it seems the clock is ticking before we face a global mobile pandemic.

Studies of the Bleedin' Obvious is reproduced from the Null's column in the Daily Telegraph.

Why not try another Study of the bleedin' obvious?

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