Null Exposes NASA Con

NASA have just released images reportedly taken by the Cassini space probe showing lakes of liquid methane and ethane on Saturn’s moon Titan.

How exciting, we thought.

"[The lakes] look very similar to lakes on Earth," said Dr Ellen Stofan, a member of the Cassini radar team from Proxemy Research in Washington DC, US. "They have channels feeding into them just like you have rivers feeding into lakes on the Earth. Their shapes, their shore-lines, all of those geologic aspects are actually very familiar."

Blimey.

"The methane-ethane would [be] transparent, the way water is on Earth; it would be behaving like water, the lakes could have small waves on the surfaces," Dr Stofan speculated "So if it was possible for you to stand on Titan and look at the lakes, you wouldn't really know it's this weird chemistry."

Hang on a minute.

So you’re telling us you spent $3.26 billion sending a spaceship 746 million miles to take photos of some lakes that look like Earth lakes, move like Earth lakes and probably even smell like Earth lakes? Somehow that doesn’t seem right. Are you sure you haven’t just taken some sneaky pictures of a lake-filled region of, let’s say Finland, and jazzed it up with some funky colours?

We took a quick trip to Scandinavia via Google Earth and guess what we found: the same blimin’ lakes! Look carefully at the two pictures, those crafty NASA chucklehounds haven’t sent cameras to the outer reaches of the solar system; they’ve been cruising over Finland checking out Scandinavian beauties from a spotter plane. In true student style they’ve realised that we’re all expecting to see some of their work soon so they’ve just cobbled something together at the last moment, hoping to get away with it.

"Titan" Finland

We have to admit they’ve done a fair job, swapping the two farthest lakes around and changing the colours. This does suggest that they’ve managed to drag themselves from their epic ten-year, $3.26 billion maelstrom of drink, drugs and debauchery for at least a couple of hours. Nonetheless, the Null’s very glad it’s not our taxes they’ve been spending.

Not convinced? See the startling proof here.

If you want to check the picture of Finland try Google Earth at 63^o17'30.30N 25^o43'47.81E viewed at an elevation of 145m.

Your Say

You are so full of shit. I am really tired of lunatics trying to undermine every aspect of American strength. That is what this is. This is an attack on our nation's integrity and it will not stand. You are an idiot. Anyone who believes this crap ought to kill themselves.
Astrochronic, New York

- Ha ha!!! spoken like a true American. Now then, back to the NASA party!
Leighton Cole

[This is a] way to spread ignorance. Three lakes close together is not some kind of one in a trillion odds. Junk like this is fuel for idiot fundamentalists who would teach our children that science is the work of satan.
Rocky, USA

hm. why do they try to pull that shit? and why don't they ever get held accountable?
Caleb

Still not convinced, unless someone else comes up with the same thing or NASA down right says it's fraud. Sorry, even looked it up myself.
Shamrock, Illinois

I would need more evidence on that one! Different sources, NASA saying it's Finland, different things like that. I love conspiracy theories.
Blue Eyes, Illinois

You are trying to undermine NASA because...? You are a jackass. This is the stupidest anti-american crap I have seen yet. Good Job.
Astrochronic, New York (still not getting it)

Some people's children just amaze me.
John, Utah

Thanks, I needed something ridiculously hilarious to bring me out of my deep blue funk today.
Thadium, Washington

I don't believe in Finland.
Makakilo, Hawaii

I know what's happened here! Someone got obviously confused. They were given 2 rolls of film to take to the local supermarket to get developed, one contained NASA's photo's, and the other contained the pictures their wife took on whist holiday, and the photo's got mixed up. The poor souls are probably sat at home, terribly confused, looking at their photo's and thinking, "I don't remember that... just how much DID we drink when we were there??"
Chris, Earth

Ha Ha! Un-American?! What about Un-Finnish? Those bloody fjord-loving, Russian-fighting, Swede-lovers have been faking their greatness for years. And now they try to put their lakes in space?! Why did we invade Iraq when Finland is so clearly asking for it?
Miketron

So NASA spent so much money just to take 3 ugly pictures? In 1821 people took better pictures than these! We are not animals here! We have brains and we understand your hoaxes. We have been expecting this mission for so long, they say they went and thats all? what is happening there,now.They never told us. Only 3 ugly pics. Unbelievable.So much waste of money...
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Does nobody have a sense of humour anymore?
Moon

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