Carbon Dating For Singles
By Cockles and Sid
After decades of trying, carbon dating has finally broken into the mainstream world. The method of pointlessly guessing the date of bones, egg cups and trousers has become the new past-time of choice on London’s hip and happening singles scene.
Douglas Gaytimes, the creator of www.jumpinmycar-bon.com, said “I had no idea that this would take off so quickly. Just last week, we literally had tens of people click on the site looking for a carbon date”. Whilst Douglas left the room to taste success, we explored the site and the many delights it offers.
New users input details such as age, ears, butter preference and paper weight before getting down to the nitty-gritty of the kind of date they are looking for. Douglas added “Stop that!” before saying “We have a wide selection of eligible carbon dates just waiting to hit the scene with our many clients. We cater for both men, women and those funny ones too”.
Professor Billington Worthless of the Carbon Radiation Archaeology Practice said “Look at my outfit.” Upon threats of his fee being withheld, he added “Old Bill Libby would be turning in his Toyota if he knew his profound advance in scientific date estimation was being marketed to provide scallywags with the possibility of romance. But who cares about that old scrote, I’ve got me a hot date with a little atomic number 6 calling herself Sooty”.
In order to understand this phenomenon fully, we put our proverbial heads in the potto’s mouth and hit the scene ourselves. We met regular visitor to the site, Ms Jemima Sodfoot. She said “Oh yes, just last week I had a date in Stalin's Wine Bar with a delicious Carbon 14, and he was positively radiant”. When asked if romance was on the cards, Ms Sodfoot declined to comment, but did say he was “a real diamond”.
Douglas Gaytimes, the creator of www.jumpinmycar-bon.com, said “I had no idea that this would take off so quickly. Just last week, we literally had tens of people click on the site looking for a carbon date”. Whilst Douglas left the room to taste success, we explored the site and the many delights it offers.
New users input details such as age, ears, butter preference and paper weight before getting down to the nitty-gritty of the kind of date they are looking for. Douglas added “Stop that!” before saying “We have a wide selection of eligible carbon dates just waiting to hit the scene with our many clients. We cater for both men, women and those funny ones too”.
Professor Billington Worthless of the Carbon Radiation Archaeology Practice said “Look at my outfit.” Upon threats of his fee being withheld, he added “Old Bill Libby would be turning in his Toyota if he knew his profound advance in scientific date estimation was being marketed to provide scallywags with the possibility of romance. But who cares about that old scrote, I’ve got me a hot date with a little atomic number 6 calling herself Sooty”.
In order to understand this phenomenon fully, we put our proverbial heads in the potto’s mouth and hit the scene ourselves. We met regular visitor to the site, Ms Jemima Sodfoot. She said “Oh yes, just last week I had a date in Stalin's Wine Bar with a delicious Carbon 14, and he was positively radiant”. When asked if romance was on the cards, Ms Sodfoot declined to comment, but did say he was “a real diamond”.
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