Army Ants Deployed

By Mike Davis

According to British military sources, an army entomology team (AET) has been formed with a view to training and deploying ants and termites against our nation’s enemies. The project, called E21, envisages millions of specially-bred bugs being dropped over frontline enemy positions to create widespread damage and considerable discomfort.

The AET have trained their termites to target the wooden parts on trucks, weapon storage containers, buildings and tools. "These are not just insects collected at random," said project leader William Leham, Ph.D. "Three years of selective breeding means that our termites can taste the difference between friendly wood and that typically used by the enemy. Yes, we expect a massive casualty rate - verging on insecticide - but the AET training budget is miniscule and replacement volunteers are easy to find."

According to Leham, all combatant insects are DDT resistant. He said, "Not only can our insect troops survive being sprayed with pesticide, but doing so actually induces a genetic advantage that makes them, and their offspring, more likely to thrive when the enemy pesticide counter-offensive is abandoned. We believe the same process occurs when doctors around the world prescribe antibiotics to cure infections, but that’s a different project.’

A percentage of each insect cadre will be equipped with nano-camera technology, meaning that live video footage of the operation can be monitored by commanders in real time. Deployments will be started following ratification of the UN Calamine Lotion embargo (UN/CL08) on the belligerent nations by all Security Council members.

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