Cheeks Keep You Cute

By Rita Jorge

The key to the youthful-looking face sought by middle aged Brangelina wannabes all around the world is in a deep fat compartment located within the cheek.

The news must have come as a surprise to the hordes of adorable cheeky children who thought the constant pinching they suffered from distant aunts was only due to their unawareness of the concept of personal space.

A team co-orientated by Dr. Joel Pessa determined the location and boundaries of the said deep fat compartment by injecting dye and then latex into the cheeks of several corpses, which were then probably left in a bizarre state, considering the new found plumpness and tint of their faces. All doubts about donating my body to science are suddenly vindicated.

The concept of injecting volume to combat facial ageing is not new. In fact, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons reports that 8,000 cheek implants, 47,000 fat injections and 1.1 million hyaluronic acid fillers injections were performed only last year. Most of them on Michael Jackson, we dare suggest.

The revolutionary concept derives from the fact that when applied to this specific compartment, smaller amounts of material produce "highly specific, predictable and immediate results", affecting at once several ageing signs in different areas of the face, such as loss of volume around the eyes, wrinkles around the nose and mouth, and loss of curving of the upper lip.

The fat colonies in different parts of the body differ considerably amongst themselves. So while we are desperately trying to get rid of fat in some areas, we are loosing fat in other areas (like the face) and looking less attractive by doing it. Nature has a weird sense of justice.

Check out the faces of our Facebook group members.

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