Ant Natural Stimulation

Summary: Tonics made from black and red ants have been used since ancient times as curatives for all manner of complaints from lumbago to memory loss; and now modern research is proving that the wise old ancients were indeed wise old ancients, drinking ant tonics can work wonders.

Recent findings have shown that certain species of Chinese ant contain complicatedly-named chemicals (disaccharide trehalose and aliphatic polyketide lactones if you’re interested), which are powerful anti-inflammatories and pain killers. And it doesn’t end there: ant juice seems to increase life expectancy as well.

Ant tonics are still incredibly popular in China and command big business, being worth more than $100 million every year. UK sales of ant tonics, however, are less lucrative. InterContinental Brands did attempt to introduce the Great British public to Ant Natural Stimulation^TM in the late 1990s; it was sold as a mixer for vodka (known as a lubric-ant) or gin (an agony ant).

The Great British public, however, were not impressed; Ant Natural Stimulation^TM, we are informed, is no longer available and is likely to stay unavailable for the foreseeable future.

Chunder rating:

Interesting fact: Last year the Chinese firm Beijing Reuters was found guilty of scamming $379 million from investors for a phony ant-breeding project. The ants, had there been any, would have been destined for the tonic trade.

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