Duct Tape's Many Uses

By Hayley Birch

Until today, I was oblivious to the incredible value and versatility of a roll of duct tape. My enlightenment I owe largely to Jim and Tim the Duct Tape Guys, who have published a series of seven (yes, seven) books on the subject. And they didn't stop there; watch out for the Duct Tape Guys' Page-A-Day® Calendar and Duct Tape: The Video.

My own top three uses include: using the sticky stuff to "tape over the mouth of the office gossip"; fashioning a "hard-to remove" prom dress for dad's peace of mind; and duct taping yourself to a tree in the event of a hurricane. But despite their tireless search for new applications, the pair would appear to have missed out one important use: treating warts.

Duct tape has been widely endorsed as a cheap and effective way of dealing with warts (the non-genital sort) since American scientists published a study of the treatment in 2002. Previously doctors recommended lasers, surgery, freezing with liquid nitrogen and even hypnosis, so the new cure was welcomed. Perhaps though, Jim and Tim knew something the scientists didn't. Because now new evidence suggests that the miracle cure is not all it's cracked up to be.

Dutch scientists, led by Dr. Marloes de Haen of Maastricht University, compared the effectiveness of duct tape to corn pads and found that, in addition to causing itching and rashes, it offered no real benefit.

They say the original study was flawed because the researchers did not actually examine the "healed" warts - they called them up to check instead. Which makes you wonder what else you could get away with, at least for a while.

"So, how was the time machine?"

"Oh excellent professor, worked a treat, yes, I've just had lunch with Napoleon and tomorrow it's champers with Marilyn Monroe."

"Good good, I'll get that paper published right away. Toodlepip."

Just for the record, the original research group had also lost one of its patient's study warts to a "trampoline toe-amputation accident".

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